#29 The UP Side of Retirement

#29 The UP Side of Retirement

Advice to Other Retirees:

If it doesn’t fit, don’t wear it (seriously)

Straighten your pictures (the ones on your wall)

Mow the yard (or, have someone mow it for you)

Comb your hair (if you have any)

Love everybody (you mean old bastard)

Call your family (flip a coin)

Turn up your hearing aid (ambient sounds aren’t that bad)

Hug her (even if that is all you can do)

Get off your fat ass and go for a walk (cane acceptable)

go for a walk at the mall (or just sit and watch people)

laugh at the crazy people at the mall (laughing keeps you sane)

smile at people at the mall (even if they think you are an old pervert)

Do something that will totally surprise everyone (be good now)

 

You can do all of those things before noon

And still have the rest of the day to be too old

e.

#28 The UP Side of Retirement

#28 The UP Side of Retirement

EVERY YEAR STILL GETS BETTER AND BETTER!

Yes, maybe I should have listened

Because now I can’t hear

I wish I would have noticed

Back when I could see clear

I wish I would have gone there

and overcome my fear

I wish I hadn’t taken for granted

what I should have held dear

I wish I would have taken the chance

when it was so near

maybe I could regret my past

and maybe shed a tear

but, maybe if I’d done those things

I wouldn’t be here

And I wouldn’t give this up

this has been my favorite year

e.

#27 The UP Side of Retirement

#27 The UP Side of Retirement

Advice to All:  Tell the TRUTH!

Nothing makes a person more human than when he tells the TRUTH, even if it is only his concept of, or perspective on, the truth.

But, what do I know, I write fiction.

And, furthermore, nothing make a person search harder for the truth than when he has been told a lie that he does not believe.  That, also, applies to a person being told a truth that they may not believe; that will make most people seek the truth.

Yet, this world is filled with people who continue to believe the lies, blind to the truth, and, therefore, feeling no need to seek truth.

And, that’s the truth!

Now, here is my point:  Whoever you are, you are reading this thinking, “I know the truth, and, I am glad that Eugene is bold enough to declare it for me.”  But, the truth is, I haven’t even told you what ‘truth” I am talking about.  Yet, you have your opinion that I am right or wrong, according to your understanding of truth.

Confused?  You should be, because truth is only a concept, until it is clearly defined.  And, I can only define my understanding of the truth.

And, here it is:  Truth is like a box of chocolates… without the box!

e.

ps – I am sure that someone may read this and respond, “There is no truth, but God’s truth.”  Well, no kidding!  If truth is truth, how can it be anything other than God’s truth?  But, that hardly defines neither God, nor, His truth.

So, I repeat this advice to all:  Tell the TRUTH!  Don’t make it up.  Unless, of course, you are writing fiction.  Then, all bets are off.

 

#26 The UP Side of Retirement

#26 The UP Side of Retirement

Let Me Explain!

eugDo you ever feel like you owe the world an explanation for your actions?  And, by ‘the world’ I mean, people.  Not from guilt or a sensed need to explain why you did or did not do a particular thing; just to set the record straight.  You know, in case someone might get the wrong impression.

Me, for instance.  Yes, I retired at 62.  But, it wasn’t because I made so much stinking money that I was forced to retire to keep from getting my estate taxed so heavily after I’m dead.  And, it wasn’t because I am a lazy bum, and, work was never my forte.  Well, maybe, that’s true.

But, the truth of the matter is that I wasn’t making much money in my old job and could draw as much from social security as I was making at the dead end job.  It’s not much, trust me.

And, if I had better sense, I would…, No, I do have better sense, so, I am going to stay retired.

Since I could retire (on this meager income), I figured that, now, I won’t have any more excuses for not pursuing my dream of becoming a bestselling author and/or songwriter.  Still, I am not sure that I retired for a reason any different from most people:  To pursue my dream!

And, although I have heard tell of those others (like me) who don’t let old age stop them, at this point, I feel a little alone because most of the retired people I meet don’t seem to be pursuing any dream other than a daydream.

But, I keep writing and singing and hoping and bugging people with my dream, as if I have dementia and am not aware that I keep singing the same old song over and over again.

But, I am retired, so I can do whatever I darn well please, and, owe no one an explanation.

I hope that explains it!

e.

eugbooks.com

 

#25 The UP Side of Retirement

#25 The UP Side of Retirement

What Are You Going To Do Today?

How I love being asked that question!  It’s not like I don’t have anything to do.  What is so cool about the question is that I can just make stuff up on the spot.  Yes, I am limited to what I can ‘actually’ do, but, that’s only because I don’t have the money to go to Paris, or, take a trip to see my family.  Other than those trivial pursuits, however, I can say that I am going to do just about anything else.

Today, for instance, I am going to practice my new song “Hey!  Hey!  Dana Renee!”

Oh!  Wait!  I have to water the flowers, first.  Then, I am going to take a walk with King Theodorable.  And, I really need to get to that loose hinge on the kitchen cabinet.  And, I need to wash the car.  Sometime today, I need to work on the rewrite of “Dark Days”  (coming soon).

But, I’m retired, so, all of that can wait until tomorrow.

Oh!  Wait!  I have a golf outing scheduled for tomorrow.  Can’t miss that.  Guess I better get to that hinge before the day is over.

It’s funny, how retirement doesn’t eliminate responsibility.  Okay, so they are not earth-shattering, you’ll-get-fired-if-you-don’t-do-them kinds of responsibilities, but, still….

The things I want to do still take a backseat to the things I have to do.  I want to sleep for eight hours straight, but, I have to pee every four hours.

See what I mean?

So, what are you going to do today?

e.

#22 The UP Side of Retirement

#22 The UP Side of Retirement

ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!

That excuse doesn’t change, just because you get closer to the end of (your) time.  There is still “All the time in the world” to do the things that matter.  In other words, there is still time to procrastinate.  After all, if I die before I get what needs to be done done, I can’t be penalized.  The grass will grow, but, sooner or later, someone will mow it.

It seems that putting things off isn’t magically reversed when you get older.  I’m retired, so, I should go golfing.  But, I am putting it off, because I need to clean a rug – – – damn dog!   I should be cruising the oceans blue, but, instead, I am cruising for plants to plant on the back patio.  I should be taking a nap everyday at the same time, but, instead, I am conscious and aware of the many, many things that retirement requires of me.

I was never a master of procrastination, anyway.  I was, however, a master of forgetfulness.  Which, I suppose is going to come in handy for me, when I need an excuse for why I, suddenly, seem to be procrastinating more than usual.  Truth is, I always want to take a nap, but, I forget.

One little bit of advice I would give (again, to those who haven’t asked my advice):  You keep saying that you are going to take that vacation (one day), but, you procrastinate because you think focusing on the present priorities will eventually get you there.  Maybe they will, maybe they won’t.

It is a great feeling, knowing that you, finally, took care of that thing you had been delaying for so long.  Like that trip to Paris, for instance.  Or, going to see your sick Aunt, for another.

Take a break, stop procrastinating.  All work and no play…, well,  you know how the rest of that goes.

e.

#21 The UP Side of Retirement

#21 The UP Side of Retirement

TALKING TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU!

Our new neighbors (well, WE are the new neighbors, actually) walk by our house that sits on the corner.  Our front porch is only 12 feet from the curb, which I think is fabulous!  Most of the time, a neighbor will stop long enough for small talk; to say Hello and allow their dog to sniff my dog.  Hmmm.

[Neither of the dogs bark, because it’s not allowed and, somehow, the dogs know to keep quiet.  They just ‘sniff’ each other, which, if you didn’t know, is their form of small talk.]

Small Talk!  Funny, when I was a salesman, I used to think small talk was useless, always upset with my boss who said I should start off with small talk when interviewing a potential client.  He said, “Small talk will make you rich.”  I thought it to be quite deceptive.

Now, I find small talk quite enjoyable.

And, so far, I haven’t had any of my neighbors follow up their ‘small talk’ with, “Oh, by the way, if you ever need insurance….”

Then again, most of the folks go slowly with everything they do, so, maybe they just haven’t gotten around to it, yet.

But, I kind of doubt it.

In a way, I am glad that, in my younger years, I was trained to start off my sales pitch with small talk, because, in the end, it is the small talk experience that helps me enjoy life as it is now.

So, my bosses were right, after all – small talk produces results.  They just had it slightly askew.  Because, I have become richer, by far, because of the small talk between a nearby neighbor and myself, than I ever became from any follow-up question with a potential client.

Still, I am not so sure about the intentions of that cute little poodle that keeps sniffing at my dog’s butt.

e.

#20 The UP Side of Retirement

#20  The Full Moon

Retirement gives a person the opportunity to remember that the Full Moon isn’t more or less full at all, it is simply the position that the Moon has with the Earth and how the Earth is in position with the Sun, etc. etc.

The Moon has no choice as to how it will appear in its various, but, predictable, positions with the Earth.  The Earth, also, has no choice.  The Sun, although it seems to be in charge, actually has no power to be any different than it is.  All are in fixed positions in the galaxy and, although each of them will one day be gone, they will continue to be quite predictable.

If the moon had a mind, would it want to move out of the galaxy?  Would it be jealous of the Moons of Saturn?  Would it want to be made out of cheese?

Would the Earth, using its imagination (if it only had a brain), want to spin in the opposite direction, or, not spin, at all?

And, if the Sun had a mind of its own, well, let’s not even talk about that, okay?

The Earth doesn’t rule over the Moon, nor, does the Sun rule over the Earth.  They simply exist together in the ordered-chaos of the universe.

Maybe there is something to be said about the insanity clause: Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.  Our Solar System has been doing it for a long, long time, and, it seems to be perfectly content with the situation.

If our minds could just stay in alignment with “the way it is,” and, “the way it will always be,” perhaps, we would not be so discontent with the routine of life.

Perhaps.

Sure, there is a lot to be said for the power of the mind and the things that we can accomplish with our minds.  On the other hand, there is a lot to be said to, as the Beatles song says, “Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream.”

I have discovered that, although my retirement gives me the opportunity to “float down stream,” it is not a philosophy of lifestyle reserved for the retiree.  I should have learned it a long time ago…, but, my mind was in the way.

That is why God was so perturbed when the children of Israel wanted to be like other people; to have a king to rule over them.  “I have it all planned out for you,” He said.  “But, if you want to put your trust in man, go right ahead.”

As if man could stomp his foot on the ground and things would change.  Oh, things will change alright, but, this beautiful mind of ours has unrealistic expectations of the results of all the foot-stomping.

Insanity is not doing the same thing over and over again, it is doing the same thing over and over again, but, expecting different results.

So, once again, I offer un-asked-for advice:  Relax and let each day finds its own way.  The best you can do, on any given day, is to be the Sun of your personal Solar System where you shine upon the inhabitants within your circle of influence.  And, my dear friend, that is enough.

E.

ps – Sure, retirement still requires me to paddle once in awhile, as I float down stream, but, I only do so to keep from getting my canoe stuck in front of my computer.

Later……

 

 

#19 The UP Side of Retirement (and why you should try these UPs now!)

#19  Holiday Retirement Theme

Senior living seems to find me in a constant battle with remembering the days of the week.   Now, I have to contend with holidays.  And, if my sources are correct, I am informed that this weekend is a HOLIDAY!   Is it Memorial Day or Labor Day?

I don’t suppose it matters, because if it is Memorial Day, I don’t seem to have a memory concerning that particular holiday.

And, if it is Labor Day weekend, then, I guess I should take today (Thursday) off, in order to get ready for the big weekend.

By the obvious absence of my blog over the last 7 days, it seems unnecessary to remind you (whoever you are) that retirement doesn’t require me to labor in my effort to caution anyone that retirement continues to be both something to look forward to and something to look back upon.

I would explain further, but, I have to get going….. gonna make this a 5 day weekend.

e.

 

#17 The UP Side of Retirement (and why you should follow these UPs now)

#17  Man make decisions for God that God doesn’t make for man.

I keep learning things (whatever ‘things’ they are) as I grow older.  One of the things I am still learning is that “I should have been learning, when I wasn’t learning anything other than learning.”

But, I have finally learned this:

Man make decisions for God that God doesn’t make for man.

I don’t know if I can make that make sense, or, not.  Maybe, you get it already.  But, here goes.

(Some) People like to send other people to eternal damnation because those other people don’t believe the same as they do.   In order to justify their biased opinion (be it politics or religion), and, because they don’t want to face the possibility that they might be wrong, they say that God told them so:  “Hey, I’m not saying you should do things my way, or, think my way, it is God’s way.”

And, how dare we disagree with God, right?

But, you know what?  God doesn’t say that.   Man made it all up.  Well, maybe God does tell us what we should do, how we should walk, how we should talk, live, love, etc. etc.  But, we don’t need to be bullied about it.

The point is, man decides what he believes, but, he can’t just believe it for himself, he must make others believe it, also.   And, the best way for him to get others to believe it is true, is to use God’s judgement.

I don’t know why they use God’s name in such a way, except that it, usually, has some kind of profit in it, somewhere – like the Doctor who wants to keep his patients sick so that he will always have patients.

Make decisions for yourself, and, don’t use God to justify them.  If you can’t stand up for your principles and beliefs on your own, why do you think God is going to justify them?

But, we do have this truth, which is the inverse of my opening line, and, a truth that can be never be discovered too late:

God makes decisions for man, that man doesn’t make for God.

SO, IN THE END, A WISER HEAD PREVAILS!

[But, who am I to say?]

e.